Separation and divorce issues

No relationship that leaves you feeling undervalued is acceptable.

I work with many people going through troubling separations and divorce. Some years ago I set up a group to help people navigate this difficult time of their lives, called Separated But Thriving. One of the results of that was the creation of a document that would assist people going through particularly difficult separations or divorce. A copy of this document is available HERE. Although the financial guidlines contained in it are specifically aimed at people in BC, Canada, it still generally holds true no matter where you are located. There is advice contained in it to help the emotional process as well as some solid practical tips.

You can take a quick look at an existing relationship and get an idea how healthy it is by using our Relationship Analyzer. This is a simple tool that asks you a few questions that give some indication of the nature of your relationship. It's only a guide, but has proven suprisingly accurate for my many clients.

As much as it may feel hard when it happens, separation is not the end of the world. It can be a time of great relief. While there is inevitably a sense of disappointment, it is also an opportunity to renew yourself and the direction in which your life is heading.

Mouthing gentle but meaningless platitudes is not my style of therapy. There are times when you need a little help to retain the strength and resolve to manage your situation well. I am here to help provide that. Having travelled the same road myself, it is one I am familiar with.

I now have an excellent relationship with my former wife. I will always respect her as a wonderful person and a faultless mother. In the throws of separation these are truths that are hard to focus on. However, and what I tell all my clients in this position is, “You have a relationship that likely will be part of your life for many years (if you have children) – so you had better learn to resolve your differences to a workable solution”. As hard as it may seem at present, it is possible. Your life will go on, and it will likely get substantially better.

How healthy is your relationship?

Use the Relationship Analyzer to find out!

To help get through this time hypnotherapy can provide relief and comfort. Additionally, I am able to provide some support for children experiencing their parents separation and divorce. So many couples excuse inaction with the idea of 'staying together for the children'. In reality, all this does is teach children that it is acceptable to be in a poor relationship. It's ok to be realistic. It may well be that the divorce is a lesson the children badly need. No relationship that leaves you feeling undervalued is acceptable. I regularly work with kids and am happy to assist in getting them to a better frame of mind about their new reality.

If you require immediate help with dealing with separation you may wish to try one of the online downloads I provide on this issue.