Separated But Thriving - Coping With Separation

Separated But Thriving

By Rob Hadley

This information is provided to assist anyone going through separation or divorce. Feel free to reproduce it and use it where you choose, on condition that you include the credit “by Rob Hadley, www.VancouverHypnotherapy.Org”.

Part 3

Emergency Checklist No. 1

This is the first in a series of checklists. If you are feeling tired and disoriented, try to get to each of these tasks in turn.

1. Change bank account Web access codes. New codes should be totally random.
2. Contact bank re. joint signing authorities, etc.
3. Set up new email address for all future correspondence.
4. Contact credit card companies re. joint credit cards. Remove secondary name.
5. Change cell phone passwords.
6. Change all voicemail passwords.
7. Change computer passwords.
8. Change access codes on household alarms, etc.
9. Change locks.
10. Contact Telus/BC Hydro/Terasen Gas. Ensure the accounts used are in your name or, if you are leaving the household, that they are transferred to your spouse.

Those are tasks you will have to do fairly soon after separating. Try to focus on stepping through them one at a time. You do want to complete the list, or your spouse will not feel you are truly separated. If you are serious about separation, you will have to complete each of the above.

You objective is not to prevent access, it is merely to control it. These are not things you need to do in an antagonistic manner. They are better done sooner rather than later.

Keep in mind that once you are separated—whether or not a separation agreement exists—your former spouse has no more right to access your personal accounts or information than your next-door neighbour. You exercise the control in this relationship from this point on.